Month: March 2023

Book Review: Friendaholic by Elizabeth Day

Posted on by Libby Price

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed Elizabeth’s previous books (both fiction and non fiction), and devour each episode of her ‘How To Fail’ and ‘Best Friend Therapy’ podcasts – so when I heard she had a new book out, I was delighted to be granted an advance review copy from NetGalley. Here’s the blurb:

“As a society, there is a tendency to elevate romantic love. But what about friendships? Aren’t they just as – if not more – important? So why is it hard to find the right words to express what these uniquely complex bonds mean to us? In Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, Elizabeth Day embarks on a journey to answer these questions.
Growing up, Elizabeth wanted to make everyone like her. Lacking friends at school, she grew up to believe that quantity equalled quality. Having lots of friends meant you were loved, popular and safe. She was determined to become a Good Friend. And, in many ways, she did. But in adulthood she slowly realised that it was often to the detriment of her own boundaries and mental health.
Then, when a global pandemic hit in 2020, she was one of many who were forced to reassess what friendship really meant to them – with the crisis came a dawning realisation: her truest friends were not always the ones she had been spending most time with. Why was this? Could she rebalance it? Was there such thing as…too many friends? And was she really the friend she thought she was?
Friendaholic unpacks the significance and evolution of friendship. From exploring her own personal friendships and the distinct importance of each of them in her life, to the unique and powerful insights of others across the globe, Elizabeth asks why there isn’t yet a language that can express its crucial influence on our world.
From ghosting and frenemies to social media and seismic life events, Elizabeth leaves no stone unturned. Friendaholic is the book you buy for the people you love but it’s also the book you read to become a better friend to yourself.”

The book is a fabulous take on platonic friendship – combining Elizabeth’s own anecdotal experiences, research into the topic, interviews with friends, and other essays on friendship. It therefore gives a well rounded view of the topic – although primarily looks at the author’s own experiences.

I found it really interesting – not least because I definitely also used to subscribe to the ‘quantity equalled quality’ belief. And also, like Elizabeth, found the Covid pandemic and personal traumas (for Elizabeth her fertility journey, and for me a child with a chronic health condition) put some ‘friendships’ into question.

I enjoyed the references from a plethora of different sources – including ancient texts (my son is applying to do Classics as as degree, so I have a new found interest in ancient history from various University open days) and more recent research – which made the book feel ‘deeper’ than solely a memoir. One fact that stuck with me is that on average people change half of their friends every 7 years (something personally evidenced for me by considering the guest list for my 50th next year compared to my 40th nine years ago).

The chapter on Elizabeth’s quest to have a biological child was really moving (and was also published in The Times) and helpful about what to say – and not to say – to a friend in similar circumstances, or to be honest, any childless woman you talk to. Despite having 4 children myself – I really hope I’m not a tw*t when talking to people without children – but it did make me check my own fertility privilege.

Having listened to Elizabeth and her best friend Emma on their joint podcast ‘Best Friend Therapy’ – I really felt I could ‘hear’ their voices in the chapter where they discuss friendship together – and what a wonderful friendship they have.

As a whole, the book has really made me evaluate my current – and historic – friendships, and feel less ‘guilty’ for friends I have drifted apart from. As Elizabeth says, why should we expect friendships to be ‘forever’ – some are for different times in your life, and that’s fine – and you can remember them fondly without considering them a failure (bringing in the old ‘How To Fail’ strand of Elizabeth’s career as well!)

A lovely non fiction book – that I’d recommend to all of my friends (and ex friends, and frenemies, and social media only friends etc etc!!)

Many thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and Elizabeth for my ARC. It’s out TODAY (30 March 2023)

Book Review: Between Us by Mhairi McFarlane

Posted on by Libby Price

I have previously confessed my love for Mhairi McFarlane books – and as soon as one is available on NetGalley the rest of my TBR pile is dumped temporarily!

“When Joe and Roisin join their group of friends for a weekend away, it’s a triple celebration – a birthday, an engagement and the launch of Joe’s new crime drama on TV.
But when Roisin sees secrets she shared with Joe play out on the TV screen, she knows that between us means nothing at all.
Roisin finds herself searching for clues to the truth – about her life, their history, and the man she thought she loved. And it’s then that Roisin finds the most unexpected plot twist of them all. Among those same old friends, there’s a surprising potential for new beginnings . . .”

The book starts when Roisin (can I just say I like the fact the main character had a tricky name to say – just like Mhairi!!) was a small girl and an outing with her Mum and her Mum’s friends – whilst you know it’s going to be relevant later on – it’s not immediately evident why.

Then we’re back to the present day when Roisin and her boyfriend Joe meet up with a group of friends whom they worked with in a bookshop historically – AKA the Brian club (it’s explained in the book so don’t be confused!) for a weekend away in a fancy house in the countryside. I did wonder if this was going to be Mhairi’s first foray into an Agatha Christie style murder mystery who-dunnit – but do not fear, it’s not! They are congregating for various celebrations – and it’s also the first showing of Joe’s new TV show which they’re all going to watch together. As they’re watching it – it becomes evident that things Roisin had told Joe in confidence ‘between us’ – had been used as part of the storyline in the series – and not only is Roisin gutted by this, she also begins to wonder what else of the storyline is based on the truth – when she can spot Joe and other friends as different characters.

The book then follows the disintegration of Roisin and Joe’s relationship – along with the whole friendship group ripping apart at the seams.

I have to say I did then guess some of Roisin’s ‘plot twist’ – but I was not disappointed by this at all (it just cements the fact that I think Mhairi and I would get on brilliantly if we met in real life #weirdstalkervibesnotintentional!) and I’m not going to spill any beans here.

Whilst a lot of the book is the story of Roisin, Joe and their friends – I also really enjoyed the relationship between Roisin and her Mum – and also the scenes of Roisin in her day job as an English teacher. With a large number of teenagers in my house (my kids, not some strange hostage situation) – I did think the students interactions with her were brilliantly written!

As you’d expect from a Mhairi McFarlane book it’s cleverly written, laugh out loud funny, has current reference points and you can’t wait to read on (and will miss the characters now it’s finished!) Another fantastic book.

Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.