Rob Beckett

Book Review: Lessons From A Default Parent by Lou Beckett

Posted on by Libby Price

I have been a listener to the Parenting Hell podcast since it started way back in lockdown – so I feel like I ‘know’ Lou Beckett already. In fact my review of the Parenting Hell book by her husband Rob and Josh Widdicombe turned into a bit of a Lou Beckett appreciation post! So when I heard she’d written her first book (and having enjoyed the chapter she’d written for the Parenting Hell book and a longform blog post that went viral), I was looking forward to reading it – and then was super grateful to be granted an advance review copy by Net Galley. Here’s the blurb:

“What nobody tells you about parenthood, from one of the ‘silent partners’ behind the Parenting Hell podcast.
School-run coordinator, party planner, clubs organiser, laundry sorter… and maybe even a ‘real’ job on top! Sound exhaustingly familiar?
From assumptions surrounding who is going to stay at home with the kids to the never-ending list of school admin, being ‘the default parent’ rears its head in a plethora of ways.
This book is for all the defaults out there – bored out of their eyeballs or so overwhelmed they could scream expletives into the wind for a solid hour – to know their invisible labour is seen and valued.
With heartfelt and hilarious advice, Lou Beckett provides much-needed comfort and community for the one who is depended on the most (and often feels appreciated the least), and maybe – just maybe – how we can begin to rebalance the parenting scales and muddle through a little better, together.”

Now I’ve been a default parent for almost 23 years – so this was not telling me anything I didn’t already know – but it did give me vindication for what we’ve experienced as a family! Lou writes incredibly eloquently – and her findings are backed up by research and data which is always reassuring. She is witty, intelligent and occasionally a bit sweary – perfect Mum-friend material I’d say!

Lou talks about her own experiences with Rob and their girls – but also tries to be inclusive of other situations. She does admit that ‘generally’ the default parent is the mother rather than the father. This was highlighted to me recently when the NHS sent text messages about Year 9 vaccinations to the ‘primary contact’ on the school’s records. to everyone in my youngest daughter’s year. In most instances this seemed to be based on historic gender roles for school forms (and possibly because it’s an ancient fee paying school who are quite ‘traditional’) and was the father. My husband, like many others it would appear, had assumed that the message had gone to both parents and so I would deal with it and he could ignore it! Thankfully one husband clarified that with his wife – who hadn’t received the text message – and the school year WhatsApp group unravelled what had happened, and the ‘default family administrators and form fillers’ – who in 95% of the cases were the mothers – got on with registering their children for the jabs. In that instance – as well as with Lou’s anecdotes – it does help you realise you’re not alone!!

I think this would be a perfect book if you’re just starting a family and want to set down some ground rules right from the beginning. I’m also reading it in the capacity as a new grandmother. Due to circumstances are eldest daughter finds herself the sole parent – and thus by default (pun most definitely intended, just as Lou does in the book!) – the default parent to our gorgeous grandson. She has the support of me, her Dad and siblings – but it is completely different dynamic for her than a standard default and non-default parent relationship – and it’s made me think about how we can help her more.

Rob has a right of reply chapter at the end – and I think a lot of what he says would be fairly common for the non-default. I think communication is key for everyone – your partner is unlikely to be psychic! I also believe it is incredibly true where Lou talks about letting the non-default do things their way when you have agreed how tasks are to be shared out. It’s taken me a long time – but I’m getting better at not commenting when the dishwasher hasn’t been stacked as I would (some might say hasn’t been stacked ‘properly’?!)

As Lou said on Saturday Kitchen yesterday (I was v proud of her being on live TV with Rob – not sure if that would feel like a security blanket or more of a liability?!) it’s not a manual – but it does most definitely give you food for thought and realise you’re not alone. I think it would be a perfect gift to a pregnant couple or new parents (I believe it’s going to be in ‘Don’t Buy Her Flowers‘ gift boxes – so that’s a present pairing made in heaven!!)

A huge thank you to Net Galley and the publishers for my ARC, it’s out later this month.

Book Review: Parenting Hell by Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe

Posted on by Libby Price

I love the Parenting Hell podcast – and have bought (with my own money, which doesn’t happen very often!) the books written by Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett – so when they had a co-written book come out, it was a no brainer. However, super organised me ordered a signed copy when it was first announced. People pleaser me then felt guilty for not having ordered a copy (potentially peri menopausal forgetfulness at this point!) when Rob ranted about freeloading podcast listeners not buying it – I bought it again. So, on release day – I had two parcels from WHSmiths arrive!! I’ve sent the extra copy to the lovely friend who introduced me to the podcast in the first place to say thank you for the hours of free entertainment I’ve benefitted from.

Here is the blurb if you’re not a podcast listener already (and you wouldn’t have to be a podcast listener to read it – it would stand alone – but you really should listen to the podcast, it’s my ‘go to’ every Tuesday and Friday and is available free on Spotify):

“THE MADNESS, ABSURDITY, AND UTTER CHAOS OF BEING A PARENT FROM THE HOSTS OF THE NO.1 SMASH HIT PODCAST.
What’s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can’t they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?
And just when they thought it couldn’t get any harder, why didn’t anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?
Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.”

The book is – as expected – brilliant and funny. It’s written like a conversation between Josh and Rob – covering different topics of parenthood. It’s not completely chronological – and it’s not a self help book – but it’s funny, normal and relatable (which is surprising, as Rob and Josh usually try to be sexy and unrelatable #podcastjoke)

I also really enjoyed the chapters written by Rose and Lou (Josh and Rob’s respective wives) and by the Widdicombe and Beckett parents – as well as by childfree producer Michael. It was interesting to see the other perspectives (and hear which other comedian Lou would have married – and may run off with in the future!)]

Like Lou I have bowel problems – not the same one, but still ‘anal wouldn’t help’ (this is a reference from the book – not me being completely weird when writing this blog post!) and sometimes this means I have to sit on the loo for ages (although let’s face it, sometimes I sit there just to read more of my book!) One evening my husband thought I must be suffering more than usual as he could hear me ‘crying’ in our en suite. Apart from I wasn’t crying – I was laughing a lot at Lou’s chapter. Honestly – this is turning into a Lou Beckett appreciation post rather than a book review!

Overall it’s a fun, escapist read – and whilst funny, self-deprecating and not always 100% positive about all aspects of parenthood – the love for their families shines out from Rob and Josh. I’d thoroughly recommend it to everyone (even if your youngest ‘baby’ is 11 tomorrow like mine, and your oldest one of the four is 19. Let’s not tell the boys about how the next decade or so pans out………)

Book Review: A Class Act by Rob Beckett

Posted on by Libby Price

I have been a fan of the Parenting Hell podcast that Rob Beckett presents with fellow comedian Josh Widdicombe since it started – and so have been more than aware that Josh and Rob had both written books. I LOVED Josh’s book (and it became a Sunday Times bestseller) so Rob has got a lot to live up to!!

Here’s the blurb for Rob’s book – whose full title is ‘A Class Act: Life as a working-class man in a middle-class world’:

“Rob Beckett never seems to fit in. At work, in the middle-class world of television and comedy, he’s the laddie, cockney geezer, but to his mates down the pub in south-east London, he’s the theatrical one, a media luvvie. Even at home, his wife and kids are posher than him.
In this hilarious exploration of class, Rob compares his life growing up as a working-class kid to the life he lives now, trying to understand where he truly belongs.
Will he always be that fat kid who was told he’d never be a high-flyer? Why does he feel ashamed if he does anything vaguely middle class? Will he ever favour craft beer over lager? What happens if you eat 50 olives and drink two bottles of champagne? Why is ‘boner’ such a funny word?
In search of answers, Rob relives the moments in his life when the class divide couldn’t be more obvious. Whether it’s the gig for rich bankers that was worse than Matt Hancock hosting the GQ Men of the Year Awards, turning up at a swanky celebrity house party with a blue bag of cans from the offy or identifying the root of his ambition as a childhood incident involving soiled pants and Jurassic Park, Rob digs deep.
A Class Act is his funny, candid and often moving account of what it feels like to be an outsider and the valuable (sometimes humiliating) life lessons he’s learned along the way.”

I really enjoyed this from the start. You can totally hear Rob’s ‘voice’ (even more if you’re listening to the audio book I guess – and Rob revealed on the podcast that he had a panic attack whilst recording the audio book – so I’m a bit sad I’d already pre ordered the hard back – as I would have liked to have listened to try and hear if I could tell exactly when the breakdown happened!!!)

Very early on he mentions going to Centerparcs in a Qashqai with a roofbox – which was ridiculously exciting. This is because we were at Centerparcs at the same time in April! We were waiting to check in – and my husband said – ‘that bloke looks like Rob Beckett – but he’s driving a bashed up Qashqai, so it can’t be’ – but we soon realised it was, and proceeded to spot him around CP for the rest of the week!! Admittedly this doesn’t quite beat our holiday celeb spot from a few years before when we were staying in the same hotel as Lionel Messi and his family- but is still up there.

Aside from holidays there are other similarities – my husband is very much from a working class background. He got free school meals at school, and wore hand me downs from the older kids on their street. He has no academic qualifications – but hard graft has resulted in ‘a Range Rover and a gold Rolex’ (although admittedly the gold Rolex is a platinum Brietling – but that doesn’t align with the aspirational story in Rob’s book!!)) My upbringing was slightly more middle class. I went to grammar school and then university and qualified as a chartered accountant. Our kids definitely get the best of both worlds – although are all private school w*nkers now, although not sure if any of them will do the private school rite of passage of an Edinburgh Fringe Festival?!?

This is not strictly a chronological autobiography – but lots of different aspects of Rob’s life are discussed. Some of the chapters are Christmas, Family Networks, Jobs and Confidence – amongst many others. All of them reference Rob’s life growing up – and now – and compare and contrast.

One highlight of the book is the photos of Rob’s life to date and his hilarious captions – they’re just brilliant (and I’m glad I got the hard copy book for those alone!) It’s also nice to see Rob and his mate Lloyd Griffiths have been out getting absolutely bladdered for years – not just at the Euros earlier this summer!!

Whilst a lot of the book is really funny and self deprecating humour from Rob – there are also some really moving and emotional parts – particularly how lonely he was when out in Australia. The Howat family who took him under their wing were awesome. Whilst this was at the start of Rob’s career – there have been other wobbles, even recently when he was on the road in South Africa with Romesh Ranganathan (a programme we watched and thoroughly enjoyed – and at no point would have suspected Rob was having anything other than the time of his life) – and it’s really interesting (and I think would be helpful for people) to hear about a successful ‘lad’ comic talking about his mental health battles. I’m so pleased Rob has Lou and his daughters to look out for him now – and that the pandemic has helped Rob with his anxiety. (Wow, this book review has taken an emotional turn!)

There are some brilliant name drops – Jimmy Carr’s house party anecdote being an absolute favourite – and I really feel like I know more about Rob and his background now.

I’m delighted that Rob’s book has done as well as Josh’s – and they’re both Sunday Times best sellers – I feel very proud of ‘my podcasting boys’!!

Book Review: Watching Neighbours Twice A Day… How 90s TV (Almost) Prepared Me For Life by Josh Widdicombe

Posted on by Libby Price

I would have been able to pick Josh Widdicombe out in a line up for a fair few years – but I only feel like I’ve got to know him intimately since listening to the twice weekly podcast he does with Rob Beckett. This started during the pandemic as ‘Lockdown Parenting Hell’ and has subsequently been rebranded ‘Parenting Hell’. I’m almost a decade older than Josh (so my brain’s Broom Cupboard default presenter is more Philip Schofield than Andi Peters) – and my kids are older than his kids too – but I still find the podcast very entertaining. When Josh and Rob were discussing their forthcoming books, I immediately parted with hard cash to pre order them. (To be honest, I checked out NetGalley first – but neither of them featured – but as the amazing podcast content is free, I didn’t begrudge actually paying for books for once!)

Here’s the blurb about Josh’s book:

“‘This is a book about growing up in the ’90s told through the thing that mattered most to me, the television programmes I watched. For my generation television was the one thing that united everyone. There were kids at my school who liked bands, kids who liked football and one weird kid who liked the French sport of petanque, however, we all loved Gladiators, Neighbours and Pebble Mill with Alan Titchmarsh (possibly not the third of these).’
In his first memoir, Josh Widdicombe tells the story of a strange rural childhood, the kind of childhood he only realised was weird when he left home and started telling people about it. From only having four people in his year at school, to living in a family home where they didn’t just not bother to lock the front door, they didn’t even have a key.
Using a different television show of the time as its starting point for each chapter Watching Neighbours Twice a Day… is part-childhood memoir, part-comic history of ’90s television and culture. It will discuss everything from the BBC convincing him that Michael Parkinson had been possessed by a ghost, to Josh’s belief that Mr Blobby is one of the great comic characters, to what it’s like being the only vegetarian child west of Bristol.
It tells the story of the end of an era, the last time when watching television was a shared experience for the family and the nation, before the internet meant everyone watched different things at different times on different devices, headphones on to make absolutely sure no one else could watch it with them.”

I was super excited when the book landed on my doormat – and even got goosebumps from reading the chapter titles (which are all named after different 90s TV programmes) – as they brought back lots of memories.

You can hear Josh’s voice in the book (and no, I didn’t have the audiobook on at the same time) it is just written in his distinctive style. It is so well observed and frequently had me laughing out loud (and then having to explain to my husband what I’d found so funny).

I could quote endlessly from the book – but won’t as you should really buy it yourself – however to read on page 138 about ‘that bloke who played Boycie in Only Fools and Horses‘ – mentioned twice, on the day he died, did feel a bit surreal. I am in no way blaming Josh for John Challis’s death I should add!

In another ‘small world’, Josh refers to supporting England at a major football tournament as a ‘doomed relationship’ in the chapter about Euro 1996 – which is somewhat ironic as I watched the England v Switzerland opening game on the floor of Bangkok airport, waiting to fly home from the honeymoon of my first marriage (it hadn’t failed at that point – we lasted another few years, so longer than Terry Venables as England Manager at least).

I was waiting for the time when Josh would mention Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett as examples of people on TV you might not be able to stand – as he’d mentioned it on the ‘Parenting Hell’ podcast – so I felt part of an ‘in-joke’ when I read that. Not that you need to be a podcast subscriber or listener to find the book entertaining – it totally stands on its own two feet.

I read all the way to the end of the acknowledgements (my neck is stiffer than Beckett’s – another podcast reference, I am such a fangirl) and the part written to Josh’s wife and kids made me cry! I hadn’t even had wine!

It was really interesting hearing about Josh’s childhood growing up in Devon – and I loved hearing about his Grandmother Gin in particular. But then I always do love a gin…….

This is a brilliant book – funny, clever, well written, brilliantly observed and a roller coaster of reminiscing with a dollop of popular culture from the 2000s onwards thrown in too. I would guess I’m near the top age range of people who would adore it – but there will always be outliers. A brilliant potential Christmas present for anyone aged 35-50 I reckon.

Well done Josh – now to await Rob’s book with an equal level of excitement!!!