children

Parenting ‘Treats’

Posted on by Libby Price

I’ve been a parent now for 13.5 years.  If you’d told me a decade and a half ago what I would now consider to be a ‘treat’ I would have laughed hysterically – but here goes!

Going to the toilet on your own.
Sounds simple – but happens rarely when your children are in the same house.  It’s like as soon as your bum hits the seat there is something that needs opening / closing / refereeing / discussing in great detail.

This Rosie Made A Thing card sums it up perfectly (she has some other EXCELLENT cards too, ideal for Mothers’ Day or my birthday next month!)

im-a-mum

Sleeping in your own bed with just your husband.
I drafted a large chunk of this blog post in my head last night whilst sharing a bed with a wriggly 5 year old who was really unsettled (last night before returning to school after half term probably being the main reason.)  In the last 13 years it’s been pretty rare to have an uninterrupted nights sleep where both the husband and I stay in the same bed ALL NIGHT.  On the rare occasion this does happen – it’s pretty much guaranteed that you won’t get 2 consecutive nights…

Wearing clean clothes.
Thankfully I’m pretty much past the vomit / snot / breast milk on clothes stage – but it was around for a long time.  I remember being asked in the hairdressers which was my coat – and I pointed out ‘the one with baby sick on the shoulder’. #classy

Going to the supermarket on your own.
Most of the time the weekly shop is conducted online – sometimes even from on the loo if you get a spare 5 minutes to yourself in there (see above!).  But on the odd occasion I get to wander around now it feels like I’ve been let out! And supermarkets now sell EVERYTHING – so you can pick up a nice, longline ‘Mum’ top with the kale and blueberries (ok, nuggets and oven chips!!)

Driving on your own
If we’re going on a family drive there has to be negotiations about whether we’re watching a DVD (Trolls is the incumbent at the moment) or listening to the radio.  Then there’s negotiations about what radio station it has to be.  None of this matters to the 12 year old who will be pretending he’s Stormzy listening to his phone and rapping along in the back anyway.  The 5 year old will have a melt down if anyone starts singing as she hates loud noise – and there will undoubtedly be a breakdown because a toy / snack / drink has been dropped and can not be retrieved. If the phone or Sat Nav dares interrupt a critical scene in the film or the chorus of a favourite track – then there is also likely to be stroppage.
So the BLISS of driving along alone with your favourite music blaring (generally Heart – don’t judge me!!) and the windows down is just fabulous.

[ETA – I was driving the big 2 home from the station tonight when Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey came on the aforementioned Heart  – and the 3 of us sang along at the tops of our voices. It was one of those real #winningatparenting moments – and better than being on my own most definitely.]

Not having to share your food
It doesn’t seem to matter what my kids order – they then decide what I’ve ordered looks way better.  The current case in point being chicken and cheese rolls from our local Chinese takeaway.  They are LUSH – so I ordered myself some as a treat.  The children had been asked what they wanted and at no point had mentioned chicken and cheese rolls – but of course, when they arrived they wanted them!  And being a good Mum (sometimes anyway) I let them have them.  So on the occasions I get to eat what I’ve ordered, it does feel like a treat (especially if I can actually savour it and if I’m not hiding in the utility room stuffing my face before anyone spots the food !!)

Watching an adult film at the cinema
And by ‘adult film’ I’m not meaning anything risque (hey, I’ve not even seen a Fifty Shades film!) – but anything that isn’t animated! A girls’ night out to see Bridget Jones was great – as I didn’t have to referee my friends as to who sat next to whom, there was no fighting over snacks, no wanting to swap seats or sit on my lap – and I didn’t have to take anyone out to the toilet half way through.  Perfect!

Packing for one
Usually my packing is for a family of 6.  The 13 year old will need to take at least 2 pairs of shoes per day.  The 12 year old will want to take his most recent remote controlled purchase.  Whilst the 6 and 5 year olds suddenly *NEED* every cuddly toy they’ve ever owned to come away with us. And the husband always packs loads of toiletries and belts (why anyone needs to take as many belts as him on holiday I do not know!)   Therefore I’m left with a corner of the case for my own things.  So packing for just me and the husband (and his belts) is great – but just for me is so decadent (and pretty rare!).

Reading a book
I remember ‘holidays past’ where half of my case would be taken up with books.  Obviously this is now a no-no (see above re packing!) and thank goodness for a Kindle which is a much more efficient use of space.  But many times the Kindle will return from a holiday fully charged due to lack of time to actually sit and read! The odd stolen afternoon with a mug of tea (or glass of wine) and a book or Kindle is just AMAZING!

I reckon most parents are pretty cheap dates now – with ‘treats’ not needing to be being wined and dined somewhere exotic, or splashing the cash wildly.  In fact based on the above I’d be happy in the Sainsbury’s cafe with my book for an hour, maybe stopping for a peaceful wee before heading home with the tunes cranked up in the car!!

Any ‘treats’ you’d like to ‘fess up to??

 

 

 

 

 

Book Review: Hurrah for Gin: A book for perfectly imperfect parents by Katie Kirby

Posted on by Libby Price

hurrah-fro-gin

“This book is not a how-to-guide. It won’t tell you how to get your baby to sleep, how to deal with toddler tantrums, how to be a good parent, a cool parent or even a renegade parent. It is a book about parenting that contains absolutely no useful advice whatsoever.
Instead it shares beautifully honest anecdotes and illustrations from the parenting frontline that demonstrate it is perfectly possible to love your children with the whole of your heart whilst finding them incredibly irritating at the same time.
From pregnancy to starting school, Hurrah For Gin takes you through the exciting, frustrating, infuriating and wonderful whirlwind of parenthood, offering solidarity and a friendly hug after a tough day.
Best served with gin.”

As a mother of 4 kids ranging in age from 13 down to 5, I suspect that both my kids and I are slightly older than target market for this – but I’ve enjoyed following ‘Hurrah for Gin’ on Facebook and Twitter and so bought the book as soon as it came out!  For once I bought an actual physical hard copy as I wasn’t sure how the illustrations would work on a Kindle (does anyone know???)

Between buying the book and actually getting chance to read it (back to those 4 kids again) I decided to take a huge step back in my drinking (as I’d recognised that daily imbibing was probably not good for my health, waistline or parenting) and so I was concerned that the book might have me reaching for the gin in solidarity – and whilst the blurb does conclude ‘best served with gin’ – I can confirm that it is not entirely necessary and the book is still very enjoyable.

As the blurb also says, this is not a ‘how to’ guide – this is not going to tell you when your child should be sleeping, how they should be swaddled, when you should eat, the routines you should have at each week change etc (not naming any names here – but I reckon many of you will guess!!) – but it does give you an honest account of what it’s like to be in charge of small human beings – and the fact that they can drive you to booze!

NOTHING like this existed back when I had my eldest – but I was very lucky to have friends who also had kids at a similar time who also admitted that sometimes things were a bit sh*t.  Now – with the internet being much more widely used for blogs etc (honestly – I make it sound like I had my eldest daughter in the stone age – but there was no Sky+ and no handy pouches of food for goodness sake – let along proper social media to tit about on during a night feed) I think people generally do share more – and Hurrah for Gin is one of the stars of this – and this book is an extension of that.

Some of the content in the book I’d already seen on Hurrah for Gin’s social media pages – but there was plenty of new stuff to entertain as well.  So much of it had me nodding in agreement – and reminiscing (potentially through slightly rose tinted spectacles) about the newborn years (although not enough to make me consider having a 5th!)

There were also sections that made me weep, proper upset tears not just reminiscing tears, although there were those too.

The stick character illustrations are great and add to the anecdotes brilliantly.

Overall I really enjoyed this and would concur whole heartedly with Katie that it is possible to love your children with the whole of your heart whilst still finding them incredibly irritating at the same time.

This would make a PERFECT present for a new Mum – so that she knows she’s not alone.  Perhaps with an accompanying bottle of gin?!

 

 

 

 

The morning after – Wicked Wednesday 15 June 2016

Posted on by Libby Price

I haven’t linked up with BrummyMummyof2 for Wicked Wednesday in a while – but this photo was a definite.

We’d been to friends to watch the first England game of Euro 2016.   The grown ups drank a lot (Kenny’s cocktails being the major issue) and we all got home at midnight – including the 4 and 5 year olds. #badparents

The next morning it’s safe to say everyone was a bit ‘tired and emotional’ – well, apart from my husband who’d moved to coffee rather than booze mid evening – he was fine (just unbearably smug) – but he made me breakfast in bed, so is excused his smugness.

Anyway – ‘Elsa’ couldn’t find her crown (it had been left at the friends’ house along with all manner of wet clothes following a bouncy castle / rain / washing up liquid incident) so we had a full on meltdown which lead to her falling asleep on the rug in the hall.

Elsa

To be honest I think quite a lot of people who watched England the night before felt similar…….

 

brummymummyof2

Book Review: The Unmumsy Mum

Posted on by Libby Price

The Unmumsy Mum

“THIS IS NOT A PARENTING MANUAL. THIS IS REAL LIFE.

The Unmumsy Mum writes candidly about motherhood like it really is: the messy, maddening, hilarious reality, how there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach and how it is sometimes absolutely fine to not know what you are doing. The lessons she’s learnt while grappling with two small boys – from birth to teething, 3am night feeds to toddler tantrums, soft play to toilet training – will have you roaring with laughter and taking great comfort in the fact that it’s definitely not just you…”

I’m not sure I’m target market for this book – as I’m already 13 years into my Mum ‘journey’ and with my ‘baby’ being 4 and a half – but I really like what The Unmumsy Mum posts on Facebook and her blog, so I downloaded it to my Kindle.

I LOVED this book.  It was laugh out loud funny at times – but also had me weeping today (the chapter where she talks about being a Mum but without her own Mum being around – it was so beautifully written and so moving. It made me think more about my husband not having his Mum around whilst we’re going through our own stab at parenthood as she passed away exactly a year before our eldest was born.).

I think this should be bought for every first time Mum so they can know what parenthood is really all about.  I was lucky that a friend had her first baby about 9 months before me – and we were very similar control freak / career girls until then – and she freely admitted the first 6 weeks were HIDEOUS.  It was such an unusually honest opinion and helped me no end – and having that written down in the public domain in a book is such a great support for people (the only book I read before having my first was Gina Ford #howstupidwasI?!).

Despite having 4 kids, I am most definitely not a mumsy mum – in fact I remember my oldest friend’s Mum being shocked when I had more than 2 kids, as apparently I was the least maternal amongst my sisters!! Therefore I empathise totally with The Unmumsy Mum lots.

The style of writing is great – and honest (and sweary – which is totally me)  Whilst it’s primarily about being the parent to small people it does cover other topics really well.  The ‘why have kids if you’re going to moan about them?’ section was excellently written.  It also  made me think a lot about comparing the sh*t you’re going through with what other people go through.  A friend recently lost her 11 year old son to a brain tumour which was utterly devastating – and hopefully something I never have to experience first hand – but I was at risk of thinking everything in my life was inconsequential compared to that – but some things, for us, are still important – and this helped me realise that, whilst still being there to support my friend and her family.

But don’t for one second think it’s all deep and meaningful!  It is brilliantly funny and, to quote The Unmumsy Mum herself, full of sh*ts and giggles – exactly like parenthood is.

 

 

 

 

 

Guest Blog: What is strength?

Posted on by Libby Price

Last year my lovely friend Emily wrote a Guest Blog. Today she sent me an email with what you’re about to read, and asked if I wanted to share it.  I couldn’t be more proud to share it with you all, and honoured that Em asked me to post it.

Lots of love to Emily – and Finlay. xx

What is strength?

An odd subject for a blog I grant you, but an issue that has been buzzing around my head just lately – begging to be addressed.  So here we go…

I like to think I am a fairly strong person.  Before children, when I was young, carefree and drinking wine with my work colleagues in various London bars, I used to think of strength as just physical.  Can I lift that heavy box?  Of course.  Can I re-arrange a conference room, moving various chairs and tables? Hell yes!  Can I renovate a dilapidated house, stripping wallpaper and knocking down walls?  No problemo!

Strength was measured by exertion.  My working hours were long, my social life packed.  I thought I was busy.  And then I had kids…

A 28 hour labour will make you reassess strength.  Now I discovered that any physical tiredness I once felt before kids was nothing compared to the intense toil of motherhood.  Sleepless nights, sore leaky boobs, the drain of the emotion that comes with being a mum. And the worry!  How many situations of impending doom can one person imagine?  What if he falls out of the open car window as we are driving along.  Hang on, have I even put him in the car?  What if a dog attacks him when we are at the local park?  And on, and on.  Endlessly.  Now strength was measured mentally.  Emotionally.  Could I get through another day without sobbing at a really intense episode of Bob the Builder?  Unlikely.  Sometimes Bob’s deadlines are really cutting it fine!

Life with children is fun, full and hectic!  Soft-play centres are my new drinking establishments of choice (often tea and a biscuit).  Football on a Sunday my new overtime.  My strength comes from my children, shuttling them to various activities, seeing them have a good time.  Life is pretty great.

But this last year has tested my strength even more.  Just twelve short months ago, a very close friend was dealt the most devastating of news.  Her gorgeous little boy, Finlay was diagnosed with a Grade 4 Glioblastoma Brain Tumour.  Fin has gone through brain surgery twice, has endured chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a clinical trial.  He is about to embark on a second round of gruelling radiotherapy and he is, quite simply, my new hero.  My new definition of strength.

Because throughout this horrible journey, Fin has been truly amazing.  He is brave – overcoming his fear of cannulas; funny –  ‘Why can’t I eat white bread!?’;  and truly inspirational – he has raised over £35K including gift aid for Birmingham Children’s Hospital and Brain Tumour Research and also broken a Guinness World Record!  And still he goes to school, trains for his black belt in karate and continues to be a kind and caring little boy. Oh, and did I mention the Pride of Britain nomination?  Put simply – He rocks!

Of course, there have been dark moments.  This is hell on earth and any parent’s worst nightmare, but during this most horrific of times there have also been moments of sheer beauty – ones that will be treasured forever.  Acts of kindness, generosity and friendship that have gone above and beyond.  People are good, and I have seen that goodness in abundance.

Just recently I asked my lovely Facebook friends to donate just £1 each to try and boost Fin’s fundraising to over the £30k mark.  And I was staggered at the response.  Friends I hadn’t spoken to in years donated.  Colleagues who don’t know Fin, but who know me, digging deep, helping him to smash his target! Thank you my lovely ones – your kindness is appreciated more than you know.  And this got me thinking again about strength and what it really means.

Because ultimately, more and more, I realise that strength comes from love.  I worked hard at my career, because I loved my job.  I got through a gruelling birth and the pitfalls of parenting because I love my children.  And our love for Finlay makes him strong.  And he is loved more than he will ever know.

There is still a long way to go for Fin on his journey.  Every day brings extreme highs and lows – like the worst rollercoaster in the entire world.  Ever.  But his amazing family will continue to fight for him, because they love him.  As friends, we will continue to support them, because we love them.  And if you are reading this, you can help too.  You can #fundthefight to help find a cure for horrible brain cancer, and make sure that no other family, no other lovely children like Fin, have to prove how amazingly strong they are.

You can donate any amount to Fin’s fund here and you can follow his journey on his Facebook page.

Thank you xxx

Den building – Wicked Wednesday 3 June 2015

Posted on by Libby Price

So – the 3 kids not back to school today were supposed to be helping with the unpacking. Instead they used the empty suitcases to construct a wall, and then practically every pillow and quilt in the house – and a freakishly large teddy –  to make a comfy den to all lie in. But at least they were all getting along…….

Den

This is my entry for this week’s Wicked Wednesday – do pop across and see other people’s less than perfect houses / children!

brummymummyof2

The Joys of Jetlag

Posted on by Libby Price

So – one minute she’s eating an apple – the next she’s fast asleep on the floor!!

  
Same for her father – but he was drinking fizz not eating fruit!

  
Am trying to make this my entry for this week’s wicked Wednesday on Brummymummtof2’s blog – but can’t work out how to add the linky from my phone and the UAE ISP won’t let me access WordPress from the hotel’s computer!! Sorry!!

**imagine picture of cute Brummy girl wailing**